mE-2

Why don't we have a darn E-newsletter? I ask Rivka in a cranky voice the minute she lands into the gallery. (For those who came in late, Rivka works with me and is my go-to-person for anything tech.).

What are you talking about? She quips back.

I also want a chest-thumping gallery newsletter like these ones. Here take a look…I scroll through several in my inbox.  

So? Why have we not created a newsletter and blasted it out to our global email list of 10,000 strong? 

R: Because our artists don't have any news worth sharing Abhay.

A: What do you mean they don't have any news worth sharing? What about Venkanna’s residency in Sri Lanka next month, Priyanka’s performance in Mexico City last week and her solo show opening this week in San Miguel de Allende? Not to mention Shine's success at Art Brussels and his upcoming solo at Young International Artists in Paris, Avantika’s residency at MacDowell and her show in Chicago, Peter at Palais de Tokyo and MoMa PS1, Ruben at Nathalie Obadia in Paris, Max’s installation in Romania and Singapore etc. etc.  And while you are at it, add Robert Smithson to the list and find a way to glorify him too.

R: But this is not news.

A: What do you mean NOT NEWS?

R: This is what an artist does. It's a part and parcel of the artist’s journey. Why would anyone be interested in all of this....this activity?

A: Because it is very important to show the world that our artists are moving up, that they are internationally in-demand therefore serious artists. 

R: I thought the only important thing was to show great art.

A: Don't be so naive Rivka. Most people do not know how to see but they sure know how to read. And, it is our job to make them drink the Kool-Aid. We are the spin-doctors of art.

R: If you say so doc. But, what exactly was our role in getting the artists these fancy residencies amongst the other great things you just rattled off? Can the gallery take credit for everything the artist does? We don't even represent Peter and Robert Smithson is dead. Even if he were alive, his work was only part of a group show that was curated by someone else.

A: Never mind that Rivka. You are getting too caught up with all these trivial details. To stay competitive we have to learn to blow our own horn. Shout from the MacBook – choose the most esoteric images and list all the new triumphs of the artists the gallery has ever touched. It should be high on the wow factor. That’s the only criteria. Collectors, curators, critics and all need to get an impression that we are a “class apart” gallery with artists who are on the up-and-up.

R: You are the boss. By the way, how should I sign off?

A: With a double PhD.

Disclaimer: Even though this conversation never happened it could very well have.